There are times when I catch myself drifting between moments of clarity and complete blindness to my own behavior. In some ways, I know I can be incredibly vindictive, and I wish I knew how to change that. But somehow, holding onto resentment—or even entertaining the idea of revenge—often feels far more appealing than acceptance, letting go, and moving on.

I know everyone has their flaws, but this feels like something I should’ve grown out of. It’s definitely not something I want to carry into my 30s—still struggling to manage my reactions when others seem to handle theirs more gracefully.

I understand that self-awareness is supposed to be the first step toward becoming a better version of yourself, but at the pace I’m going, I won’t feel content with myself until I’m pushing sixty. Still, recognizing it has to count for something. It’s time I make a conscious effort to stay grounded in moments of stress, rather than letting it spill onto the people around me—or inward onto myself. Maybe growth isn’t about getting it right every time, but learning not to keep repeating the same mistakes. That feels like a good place to start.